naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm passing your future prison.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
