I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
