my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
