Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
BRING THE BAGELS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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