totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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