and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
