That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
