i don't like sucking hair
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
