this just has baby written all over it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
