Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
