She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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