All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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