It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
