maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
