Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
