I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
