She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How's work?
Spinning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
