what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
