so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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