Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
