Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
