Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
