I must be too annoying 4 u.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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