so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I puked a lego.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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