your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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