I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
