Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i will never coherently bang her
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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