I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
