I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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