She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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