she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
