Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
