they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
