Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
