using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
