Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
