I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
