I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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