I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
