He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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