New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
