Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
