i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
