i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm at about main and main street
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
