Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
