We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
