and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
