If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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