Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
