who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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