put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
